Walking on a summer’s morning to a secret picnic spot I saw some purple flowers gently swaying in the breeze. Also, I noticed a bud that had bloomed into the brightest and loveliest flower of them all. The wet dew shimmered in the sunlight bubbly and bouncing off the soft smooth leaves. Carefully I went to touch the velvety petals but the flower snapped shut catching my fingers. It was horrifying! I hadn’t realized it was a Venus fly trap. I will never ever walk that way again. Not so much my picnic but the flower had enjoyed my hand.
By India
Posted by MrStu on July 5, 2011 at 10:29 pm
A fabulously descriptive piece India. Glad to see you’re continuing your current form in the 100WC! Some terrific alliteration to develop your poetic description, with a little drama to finish. You included all five words from the prompt as well. A very well thought out ending to your writing too, India. Perhaps you should have offered the plant a sandwich instead of your hand!
Posted by Kip McGrath Scunthorpe on July 5, 2011 at 11:42 pm
India, this is a well thought out piece of writing with some excellent adjectives and adverbs. I love the idea of the plant eating your hand. A hand sandwich! Well done. Clare Powell (Teacher: Scunthorpe)
Posted by Mrs Skinner on July 6, 2011 at 9:51 pm
This is a stunning piece India. I have the picture of those flowers, the colour and the breeze. I really enjoyed the twist at the end! Great writing. Hope to see you next week too!
Posted by Ross Mannell on July 7, 2011 at 1:18 pm
You have made use of some wonderful words, India. Your descriptions in the story were able to help me easily picture what you were seeing. A good writer can draw people into their story when they take the time to describe what is happening or what is being seen. Great job, India.
Ross Mannell (teacher)
Australia
Posted by Wendy Warren on July 7, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Hi India, Abbey’s mum here. I’ve just read your beautiful piece of writing and just wanted to say well done! It’s fantastically descriptive and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it
Posted by India on July 7, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Thnk you again ross mannell
Posted by India on July 7, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Thank you Mrs skinner
Posted by Ross Mannell on July 8, 2011 at 12:47 pm
Congratulations on making the showcase for the Week 15 100WC, India.
Posted by mrs halford on July 8, 2011 at 5:17 pm
A super piece of writing; you must be proud of the fact it was showcased. Well done. Mrs Halford (teacher)
Posted by Mrs Lee on July 9, 2011 at 8:51 am
Wow! India what a brilliant piece of writing. I loved ‘The wet dew shimmered in the sunlight bubbly and bouncing off the soft smooth leaves’, I could really picture the scene. Congratulations for being showcased this week.
Galley Hill.
Posted by India on July 10, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Thank you Wendy